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How we met 
Barry and Shawna were introduced to each other in December 2005 by the online dating service eHarmony. Barry kind of cheated by leaving a hint ("barry gee dot oh are gee") to direct people to his web site. Shawna picked up on the hint and learned an LOT about who Barry was. Shawna sent Barry an email that she thought she was sending incognito. Barry put Matched Shawna's email up the eHarmony introduction and wrote Shawna back! After three weeks of email chatting Shawna took a short trip to have a face-to-face visit with Barry and their journey as a couple began.
A few months later the couple was seen in Virginia Beach attending a James Taylor concert and doing some kayaking through the tidewater marshes. This was Shawna's first glimpse of just how handy and resourceful Barry could be when her car battery was found to have suffered fatal heat stroke on the way to VA beach when they went to the car the next day it wouldn't start. They called Enterprise car rentals got to the show and the following morning before returning the car they stopped by Sears picked up a battery and a couple of tools and a new battery. They returned the car and continued on with their journey.
Next the couple went up to the Skyline Drive in the Shenandoah National Park, A place where Barry had spent a lot of time in after he got his drivers license. Barry took Shawna to some of his favorite spots and Shawna soon found out why Barry loved those woods, and mountain trails so much. Later we went to see James Taylor Live at Virginia beach and took a side trip to do some kayaking through the saltwater wetlands and inlets near the beach. Barry showed off his collection of kites and accessories. Before it got too cold we went camping on Assateague Island.
After several months of having fun with Barry, Shawna decided she’d better inform her mom and dad of the positive change that was taking place in her life. That did not go so well. Her mother saw that her daughter was impressed and excited about her new suitor. She was also happy that her daughter seemed to be saying that after 40+ years "This might be the one!"! As Shawna excitedly shared the good news with her mother started to sob. Her mother explained that she was terrified that her daughter might just end up marrying this man she seemed so excited about. She was afraid Barry's cancer would return and her daughter would end up broken hearted, destitute and homeless by Barry's death and resulting medical bills. As Shawna tells it her mother remained somewhat aloof for a while to protect herself from her own heartbreak as well. As time when on Barry remained in remission, Barry and Shawna’s relationship became stronger and Barry had warmed both Shawna's mom and dad’s hearts.
Barry Had wanted an informal wedding with the immediate family only at sunrise on a mountain top signifying the dawn of their new lives together. On July 29th 2007 the wedding turned out to be an elaborate affair in the formal gardens of the Oglebay resort near Wheeling West Virginia with over 100 well wishers in attendance. There was a distinctly Celtic theme to the whole event from live Celtic players at the ceremony all the way down to the Claddagh wedding bands and cake topper!.
the Celtic Claddagh symbol is two hands (signifying friendship) supporting a heart (signifying love) topped by a crown (signifying loyalty).
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The brides ring with three claddagh's separated by Celtic braided rope. (Click on the ring to see the grooms vow to the bride) |
The grooms ring with three claddagh's separated by the words Friendship, Love, Loyalty |
The challenges of cancer:: -
A month after our wedding Barry was scheduled for what we thought was his last post cancer follow up MRI and consult (after five years of remission). Still giddy newlyweds we were anxiously awaiting for the doctors determination that I was officially "cured" and we could continue our lives without the threat of cancer looming over our heads. That was not to be the case. The doctor came in and saw us happy and smiling and said "obviously nobody called you". Barry asked the doctor "Who was supposed to call me and what were they supposed to tell me?" The doctor’s response was “I would have expected the radiologist to call you to let you know there are three suspicious spots in your brain”. (I thought the technician called the doctor (which he obviously did) and the doctor called the patient with whom he had an established relationship with). When asked what the plan was now the doctor said lets wait and watch for a few months to see what "pop's up".
That did not sit well with Barry who chose to go to the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda. They had many tests done and performed another tumor biopsy to determine that Barry’s lymphoma had indeed returned. Barry was then referred to Memorial Sloan Kettering for a clinical trial of Rituximab (Rituxan) and Temozolomide (Temodar). The trial required Barry's presence for four outpatient treatments on Fridays for a month. We were offered a room at the American cancer society "Hope lodge" A truly amazing resource for cancer patients receiving treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering, St Vincent's Comprehensive Cancer Center, Beth Israel Medical Center, and Columbia Presbyterian Cancer Center. The Hope Lodge occupies. Hope Lodge offers 60 private guest rooms in a home-like environment. Each guest floor includes a community kitchen and dining area, a quiet lounge and laundry facilities. This setting allows other patients and caregivers to interact and learn from others in a similar situation
After the four treatments we were told that I had not responded well to the treatments and that is was imperative that I got back on the Methotrexate in Virginia within three weeks! When we contacted the Medical College of Virginia we were told they could not see us for 6 weeks. That's when we found Dr David Schiff at the University of Virginia who started treatment the following week! A few weeks later we received a bill from Sloan Kettering for $88,000 (eighty eight THOUSAND) dollars for the 4-outpatient treatments! Shawna's Mother's worst nightmare was coming true! At first the health insurance denied all claims because they were for “unapproved, experimental procedures at an out of network facility.”) After several months of fighting the insurance covered all but $10,000. If you are offered participation in a clinical trial make sure you are well educated on the specific trial including estimated cost! http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/info/understand is a great place to start.The mother in-law's worst nightmare was in fact coming true! But that did not stop us from keeping our dreams alive.
to all the details of Barry's Full journey though PCNSL see About P.C.N.S.L
We share a rich and full life together.
some of our adventures together have included:
James Taylor concerts in Virginia Beach and Allentown Pa,
Whale watching in Virginia beach,
Kite flying and Camping on Assateague Island,
Mountain biking the Route of the Hiawatha on the Idaho-Montana border, (what a AMAZING ride!)
Short Bahamas' cruises,
Kayaking in Virginia beach and key West Fla.
Backpacking & back country camping in the Shenandoah National Park,
We bought a property in the piedmont of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We're 45 minutes to the University of Virginia's cancer center,90 minutes from the many museums and sights of Washington, D.C., 20minutes from Shenandoah National park, and 4-hours to Virginia beach (see Our Nest)
